The Crack Over The Falls
by MaddShy
Summary: Tris is a shy college freshman. Keeping a secret of pain she isn't ready to share. Pushed into rushing Alpha and the world of college greek life, she meets quiet Four, the Koa pledge chairman. Alpha president Jeanine Mathews will do anything to keep Four for herself, even work with her enemy Peter and to allow Tris harm.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one**

_**Tris POV**_

There is a crack. A crack running down the middle of the wall over the bed and I need to know where it ends. Squinting, I follow it from the top of the ceiling to just above the bedframe. Maybe the crack is a door - a means for me to escape. I wonder if I can slip through it. I reach over the bed to run my fingers over it.

"Hey, is that going to be your bed then? Its okay, I wanted the one by the dormer window anyway. So you're okay with that?"

Am I okay with what? I turn from the magical crack to look at the girl talking to me. What was her name again? Chris something. Christina. Tall, dark, beautiful Christina. Her face has to hurt smiling so big like that.

"Um.. Sure I'll take this bed. That's all good, thanks" I finally spit out.

"Great. I'm so excited and nervous and excited and … okay I said that twice. Let's get unpacked and settled and head out to the green. It looks like they are having a welcome night cookout. I bet there are some cute guys down there…." I don't hear the rest of her thoughts as she dives into her closet to put more clothes away. How much clothes can one girl have?

"Hey are you going to need your whole half of the counter in front of the mirror. I know I have a ton of makeup and hair gear and could use the room. And just a warning, I love to do makeovers and I am dying to do something with your eyes and of course that blonde hair of yours. "

"Sure. Take whatever space you need. I don't have that much".

"Thanks. I just know this year is going to be awesome. We have to rush together. We are roommates and friends now. Already like sisters"

Sisters, friends, rush; what the heck is rush? I just give her a small smile, in what I hope is enough agreement, and start to put my t-shirts and jeans in a drawer. After I finish unpacking the only bag I brought, I turn to put it away under my metal-framed single bed. As I am stuffing it under I feel something in the bag. How could I forget? I quickly take the frame out and put it on the desk by my bed. I look to see if Christina is watching me. She seems to be knee deep in a box just filled with boots.

I trace my finger on the figures in the picture. I'm in a dance team uniform with a group of girls at my old high school's stadium. In the background are a few of the football players. We had just won the county championship. This was taken two years ago when I was 16. I'm smiling in that picture. A real smile, one that actually reaches my eyes. Was I ever that free and happy? I remember that I thought I was safe then. Warm feelings and happy memories start to bubble up until the cold steel that lives in my chest does its job and pops and shreds the bubbles away. Safe. That was never real and it doesn't exist.

I put the picture back in the bag. Today was better. I could look at it for at least a moment or two before the cold comes back.

"So that's all you brought? Wow, we are going to need to take you shopping. Do you even own a dress? I would loan you some of mine but your blessed with being so small. You have to have a dress to rush in. Well we can take care of that real soon. Come on let's go down to the green. I don't want to miss out on any scoping of hotties or food – I'm starving – for hotties and food". Christina grabs my arm to leads me out of the room. I try not to flinch. She doesn't notice. It's easier to just follow her then to fight it. I want to stay in this room and study the crack more. I hear my cousin Caleb's voice in my head telling me to start living again. Living hurts. When will others see that? Living requires talking, trusting, opening up. None of that can keep you safe.

"Come on Beatrice. Let's get going"

"It's Tris. And okay I'll go"

I look back one more time to the crack. I want it to be my rabbit hole. With a sigh, I turn and follow Christina down the stairs out to the green. So this is the first day of college I think. For the millionth time I wonder why I am here…..


	2. Chapter 2

**This is my absolute first attempt at any writing. I am very open to reviews, feedback and comments. Thanks so much. **

**Chapter Two**

_**Tris POV**_

I hold my books closer to my chest, to ward off the chill from the wind. Its late afternoon but the sun is already dipping away. Stopping at the top of the hill I let the breeze wash over me. I can smell fall in the air; smoky tints with deep, muddy earthy tones. The first week of classes has gone by fast. Most freshman classes seem to be the large lecture hall type. It's nice to be able to just be a number and blend in with no one calling on me or expecting anything from me.

The pinks and oranges of the sky are starting to turn dark purple; I turn and head towards my dorm. I have a paper to work on in my communications 101 class and I should probably get started on that. The rustling of the leaves around me start to sing. I recognize the song. Turning I see a dance studio in the building in front of me. The dance troupe is moving in fluid motion. Bending, lifting, one unit supporting itself. It's beautiful.

_I once danced like that. My father likes to say that I never actually started to walk I just danced everywhere. My mother spent every moment chasing after me trying to get me to walk properly, chastely. My skipping and leaping drove her crazy; though it usually appeared that everything I did drove her crazy._

_ My father was, is the local pastor in my small town. My mother was always so concerned about my brother, Ethan's and my behavior in public. She was always reminding us that we were a reflection of our father and his position; and therefore, we must be seen as well behaved, selfless, pious children. The Pious Priors. I failed often with this. My brother Ethan never did and was always there to help me._

_ My brother Ethan was actually my half-brother. He was six years older than me. My mother was widowed when Ethan was a baby and she met my father at a church volunteering event out of state. They married and then I came along a few years later. I adored my older brother. He was so smart, charming, caring and also selfless. He put everyone before himself. I was his dancing shadow everywhere he went. _

_ When I was 5 and Ethan 11, he was killed riding his bike to the library. It was a hit and run and the driver was never found. My mother was always a quiet, nervous person, but losing Ethan turned her into a ghost. She was convinced that this was God's punishment for some transgression of hers; a transgression she would never share. We were never close, I was always a daddy's girl, but after losing Ethan, what little I did have from my mother was now gone. My bright world turned to grey. _

_ My mother became very concerned with where I was and who I was with as I got older. I was no longer allowed to ride my bike anywhere, spend the night at friends, and worse of all to take dance classes. For years I tried to be everything Ethan had been. If I could be more selfless, more helpful, quieter, smarter, just a little bit better maybe my mother would love me again. _

_ When I was 15 and a sophomore in high school I had finally given up trying to be something I couldn't be for my mother. In rebellion, I secretly tried out for our school's dance team. I knew my mother would never approve. Aside from dancing she would be against the tight costumes, the make-up, and the attention seeking aspects of performing at half-time in front of the whole school. I was thrilled when I made the team. I told my parents I was volunteering after school at a local church to explain why I was coming home late from practices. As with any secrets, they are bound to come out. After a month, my father was visiting the school and saw me. I was terrified. My father had always understood my need to be myself. He told me I could keep dancing._

_ That night my mother wouldn't speak to me at dinner. Later, she came to my room and informed me how disappointed she was with me. That my choices were going to turn me wild. I promised her that I was just dancing. That I was still a good girl._

_ Two months later I met Eric….._

"Hey Tris. Do you want to eat dinner with us?" I jerk from the window. The dance is over and the troupe is heading out of the studio. I see Christina running towards me.

"Sure. Sounds great." I'm not really hungry but I'm learning that sometimes just agreeing and blending in is the easier way to get through the day.

"Great. After dinner you are going to the first night of Sorority Rush with me. I'm not taking no for an answer. You can even borrow a dress from me." Christina loops her arm through mine and half drags me to the cafeteria. I wonder how long this new plan of just agreeing and blending is going to work for me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_**Tobias POV**_

"Hey Four. Control your recruits!" I look up to see Max, our house president, yelling down the steps at me. "They are up on the roof acting like idiots!"

"Alright, be right there". I turn back to the television to watch the next scene in the action film I'm watching with Uriah and Zeke, my roommates and frat brothers. Its early Friday night and we had planned to watch a movie then hit up the bars on Main street. Zeke wants some liquid courage before getting a new tattoo. I didn't think tonight would include me babysitting the initiates.

I turn to Zeke and ask him if he will head up and get them. "Heck no Four. They're your plebes you go deal with them. You were the one who wanted to be Pledge trainer. So go train 'em buddy." I throw an empty pizza box at him and go dig for my shoes under the couch. I know they are my responsibility but why do they have to be on the roof. My fear of heights is not something I share with everyone.

I push the third floor balcony door open and can hear the initiates up on the roof cat-calling and laughing. I realize it's the first night of Sorority Rush and my immature freshman charges are trying to dangle off the roof of our fraternity house to impress the groups of girls going from sorority house to sorority house three stories below. I take a deep breath, grab the ladder and climb up to the roof. I stay to the middle and avoid the edges of the flat roof.

"Hey! What are you plebes doing?" I don't yell. Yelling gets you nothing. Instead I talk in a low firm voice. All the plebes but one whips around at my voice and freeze.

"We are the Koa! The fearless and the brave. That does not mean the brainless and the dumb. Get your butts downstairs to the second floor and spend the night cleaning all the bathrooms until they are gleaming." En masse the plebes move off the roof except one. I turn and see Will hanging off the left side of the building. "Will, what are you doing? Get going."

Will doesn't turn to me but continues to stare down below. Slowly and with steady steps I make my way over to stand next to him at the edge. I take a deep breath and look over the brick railing. It's already dark and the street lights barely reach this side of the house. I can make out the edges of the bushes that fill this area between our house, the Koas, and the local coffee shop. I notice Will is still not saying a word; he is just staring below. I give him a sharp look and he finally points to the left of where I was looking. I see it now. A tennis shoe poking out of a pair of jeans.

"It's Al," whispers Will. "He leaned out too far and slipped. What should we do?" I don't answer. I make my way off the roof and run at a full sprint down the three flights of stairs through our house and out the side door. I find Al and bend over to get a closer look. He is white as a ghost and isn't moving. I don't want to move him but I need to see if he is breathing. My foot brushes his leg and he jerks in pain. "Al, can you hear me?"

"mmmmmmmmmm yeah what happened. Oh my god my leg hurts so bad," Al grimaces as he tries to sit up. "Oh man I think I'm going to throw up."

"Just lay back down. It looks like you broke your leg pretty bad. You're lucky you didn't break your head. I guess the fact that we don't cut the bushes back worked in your favor tonight" I gruffly tell him. I'm angry at myself for not keeping an eye on him better. I knew Al is not as strong as the rest of the pledges and, often to try to prove himself, he has been doing riskier and dumber stunts lately.

Max and the rest of the house have come outside to see what is going on. A few of the guys get Al up under their shoulders and half drag, half carry him into the game room. Max turns to me and gives me a look and turns back into the house. I know he isn't happy with my care of the pledges and he really isn't happy that it will be his job to have to call Al's parents. Our house may be fearless and brave but we take our responsibility for caring for each other seriously.

I wait till everyone has gone into the house and stop to stare at the stars. Around me groups of girls are coming out of the various sorority houses moving on to the next ones. I marvel at the synchronized chaos and try to tune out the giggles and shrieks. Finally, I decide to head back and try to watch the rest of that movie downstairs.

"Excuse me, could I get by please?"

I turn around and look down at where the voice came from. All I see are deep blue eyes and for a moment I feel myself sinking into them. I can't move.

"Hey Four, get out of that girls way and get in here," Max yells from the front door. I jerk up and she moves on quickly with her head staring at the ground, hiding those eyes. I stand on the front porch and watch her walk so fast that it is almost a jog as she moves away from Greek row.

"Hey Tris where are you going? Rush isn't over…" I see a tall dark haired girl calling after her.

I head back in for the movie and tuck away the image of Tris with the blue eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_**Tris POV**_

Christina must have gotten up early and left for breakfast already. I guess it's for the best as I'm not really ready to talk to her. She will want an explanation for what happened during Rush last night and I really don't know what to tell her. The truth is I'm not really sure why I ran away. By time I got back last night, she was already asleep and I didn't want to disturb her. It's hard to admit to myself that I'm being a wimp.

The cafeteria is packed for breakfast. I stop at the main door and scan the large room, hoping I don't see anyone I know. I'm still ashamed and don't know if I'm ready to explain myself. Especially, when I don't have a real explanation; at least not one I'm willing to share with people I don't really know. The line for the hot breakfast is pretty long and since I'm not all that hungry I decide to just grab a muffin off the side table and head back to my room.

"Tris! There you are. Come sit over here." Great, Christina has seen me and she is sitting with a group of girls from our floor. I'm not really sure who any of them are but I do know some of them were in the rush group with us last night. I take a deep breath and take a seat across from Christina. Looking down at my muffin, I brace myself for the onslaught of judgment from her. What little friendship we may have had is most likely gone now.

"So why did you run away last night?" asks the plumb, mousey girl sitting on Christina's left. I try to remember if her name is Molly or Mary. I know it starts with an M.

"Molly, let it go. That's not why I asked Tris over here. Rush is overwhelming, a lot of girls left last night. Not just her!". I look up at Christina and try to keep the shocked expression off my face. She isn't mad at me. She isn't judging me. Maybe I was wrong; is it possible that she really is a friend?

"It was overwhelming." I decide to take this opening. "I was homeschooled last year and just being around so many people at once was an awful lot to take in at one time. I started to feel like I was having to sell myself and that's not something I'm used to doing. Plus, who wants to have to smile that much" Christina bursts into peals of laughter with my smile comment. Relieve washes over me.

"You said it Tris. I think it will be days before I get the feeling back in my jaw. It's all good Tris. We are still roomies and friends." She gives me a wink and turns back to Molly to discuss something about hair up does.

I turn back to picking at my muffin and let the conversation at the table ramble on without me. I feel bad that I didn't tell the whole truth to Christina. I didn't lie when I said the night was overwhelming and I got tired of having to sell myself. But the truth was I wasn't struggling with selling myself exactly. I was struggling with what "me" to sell. It was easy to answer some truths – homeschooled senior year, what town I came from, what my father did, that I had once been on dance team, my academic record, those were easy. It was having to omit why I was being homeschooled my senior year or why I didn't dance anymore. The more houses I went to and having to answer the same questions over and over, the harder it got to lie by omission.

I said bye to Christina and threw the rest of my muffin away as I headed out of the cafeteria to my first class of the day. As I walk through the lobby of the dorm I catch my reflection in the mirror and take a moment to look at myself. Sometimes I still don't remember this tiny, blonde girl. I look broken. The lies by omission are weighing on me. I was raised by my pastor father to not lie, no matter the consequences. But the truth is they, the lies, aren't what are making me look defeated. It was seeing Evelyn at one of the houses, the last house, and the house I ran from. Evelyn was a senior and the captain of our dance team when I was a sophomore. She knows who I really am. I knew there was a chance I could see people from my hometown here at the university but knowing and the reality of it are two different things. I had seen her in the next room and I just ran before she could see me. Before she could stand before that whole room and point her finger at me and call me a "whore".

I resolve to just avoid Greek row and move on. The decision makes me feel like a wimp as I never used to run away from anything. Plus, I saw glimpses in some of those houses of how my college life could be. I saw laughter, friendship, sisterhood, and fun. It doesn't matter now, I think. I left Rush; okay I ran away from Rush. Maybe next year I can try again when I'm stronger. Nothing bad actually happened last night and its best to move on and just forget about it.

Feeling determined and calmer, I start up the path to my English Lit class ready to put last night behind me. Though the one thing I seem to not be able to forget is that wall of a frat guy I walked into last night. The one someone called Four. Four what a stupid frat-boy name. He is probably just an arrogant jock jerk. But I remember those deep blue, almost black eyes, staring at me and his full bottom lip.

Okay Tris, I think to myself. Get a grip.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_**Tobias POV**_

"Pledges line up". I stand outside at our front porch and wait for our 15 pledges to follow my instructions. Once they are lined up, I stand for a moment and just stare at them. I try hard to look intimidating to them. Zeke always tells me if I'm not smiling then I look scary as hell. Apparently, this is true as all the pledges are starting to look a little pale the longer I stare at them.

"So you've been doing a lot this week. Personally, I don't think it's enough when you consider what happened to Al. You are Koa's. The dauntless of this campus. You are to work as a unit and protect each other like blood. House before blood." The longer I talk the quieter and gruffer my voice gets. I haven't moved a muscle. The pledges are trying to keep my eye contact but many of them are struggling. "Our president Max, has decided, though, that you plebes have shown that you're taking responsibility for what happened. So, he has decided to let you guys have a "free" day today." The pledges start to high-five and relax after hearing about the free day.

"But, it's a "free" day on my terms." They all freeze again. By now Uriah and Zeke have come up behind me to listen to my speech. "So, by free it means that you do not have to do any initiate training today but you still have to do my bidding. And today, my bidding is for all of you to stay at the house and cater to all of us brothers' needs. Which in today's case, consists of you making sure we have beer if we ask, food if we ask, and that the music is never bad."

The pledges are clearly confused by this request by me. By now Zeke and Uriah are cracking up behind me. "Plebes," yells Uriah. "It's sorority Bid day. The day all those cute new sorority pledges are going to come running down Greek row to their new houses. And plebes it's a site to behold. So welcome to your free day and enjoy yourselves! Just don't embarrass us and don't go on the roof!".

The pledges don't have to be told twice and they are off running back into the house to get spots on the balconies to check out the new sorority pledges. Zeke knows about my issue with heights, so he starts to make up camp on the front porch for us. Uriah hands me a cold beer and I put my feet up on the railing ready to watch the parade. A larger part of me than I would like to admit, is hoping the Tris I saw the other night will be part of that parade.

After an hour the last girls have found their way to their new houses. Most of the frat is out front enjoying an impromptu hotdog cookout, football and beer. I keep my eyes on my pledges making sure they are behaving, and for the most part they are. The accident with Al seems to have had a positive effect on them. They are finally working more as a cohesive group and truly taking the dauntless way to heart. Tossing the football back to Uriah I scan the street one more time. I never did see the girl Tris. I wonder if I just missed her.

"Hi Four". I turn and see Tori, a good friend from high school, and smile. Tori is also a pledge trainer, like me. "Hey Tor. So how is it going this year?", I ask as I give her a big hug.

"Pretty good. We got 45 girls today. I'm thrilled with the group we got. Jeanine of course feels we could do better. You know how she is about wanting to be the best and perfect." Tori whispers the last part to me. I raise my eyebrows at her and nod to the left. "She is coming behind me isn't she? Great".

"Four, I'm so happy to see you." Jeanine Mathews is the youngest president in Alpha history and probably the most driven, at least from what I can see. She gives me a lingering hug and I try to detangle myself gracefully. "So has Tori been telling you about our so–so pledge class. I hope she can whip them into something worthy of Alpha this year." I suppress a smirk as Tori sticks her tongue out at Jeanine behind her back.

"I'm sure Tori will do just great Jeanine. Alpha has always been a strong house." I respond. I start to turn to head back to the football game when Jeanine grabs my arm. Her grasp feels like a vice.

"Listen Four, I was thinking that since our houses are paired for Homecoming together this year, that you and I can get together and discuss plans for it. How about meeting over coffee tomorrow?" Jeanine is still gripping my arm and is leaning in close to me. I pull back and look in her cold grey eyes. "Not my place Jeanine. You need to talk to Uriah about that. He is in charge of Homecoming." I pull my arm away from her and cross them over my chest.

"Oh, well in that case I understand. I'm sure I'll see you at the building of the float though. By the way, Max and I decided to have the houses do an informal get together at the Pit this Friday night. I know you never go to the mixers but I was hoping as pledge trainer you would have to this year." I shake my head and inform here that Zeke will be dealing with them on social events.

Disappointedly, she responds " You know, though, it's a good way for all the new members to get to know each other. Though it looks like that might already be happening. Tori, go take care of that.". I turn to find what she is pointing to and see one of my pledges, Will, flirting with a new Alpha pledge. The girl looks familiar.

Jeanine leaves and Tori and I go over to heckle Will and Tori's new pledge. "Will," I growl behind him "what are you doing here?". Will immediately tenses and stops mid-sentence, dropping his soda and the girl he is talking to looks terrified. I give her a wink over Will's head and she visibly relaxes.

"Four, this is Christina, one of my new pledges."

"Four, like the number?" Like I've never heard that question before. I sigh and explain that the number is a nickname from high school for having four no-hit games in a row when I was a pitcher for our baseball team. It just stuck. As I'm talking to Christina and Tori, I realize two things; one that my pledge Will is completely mesmerized by Christina and, two that Christina is the girl I saw yelling after Tris.

"So Christina, did your friend Tris join Alpha too?" Christina seems surprised that I would know who Tris is. I explain to her about the other night. She shakes her head no and explains that Tris dropped out of Rush. Quietly, I think to myself how much that sucks. At this university your either Greek or non-Greek. And if you're non-Greek you don't exist to us Greeks. There is no way I'm going to ever met the girl who won't get out of my head.

Tori interrupts my thoughts. "I remember Tris. Little blonde girl who looks to be no more than 15? She seemed nice. You know Christina, we aren't supposed to really talk about this with pledges, but we didn't make quota this year and the Greek Counsel is making us snap-bid an additional 5 girls. Do you think she would be interested in coming to meet us informally? This Friday's get together with the Koa's would be perfect. If she likes it then she can join. Really simple." Christina gets excited and tells Tori she will do her best.

I finally head back to the football game. So maybe not all is lost. I don't usually like going to the mixers, but I'm thinking this Friday I will make an appeara


	6. Chapter 6

**I truly would like reviews - good or bad on how I'm doing so far. I will continue to write more, but would love feedback. Thanks so much. It will take me awhile on the next two chapters as they will include an additional flashback - I'm working on how to word it...**

**Also, the greek names are generic - I didn't want to insult any real houses. Are they based on houses I knew back in the day, absolutely. The University isn't real either, but in my head I've modeled all of it after Ohio University.**

**Chapter Six**

_**Tris POV**_

The leaves are finally starting to fall off the trees around our dorm. Until this happened, I hadn't realized that there was a waterfall flowing into a small river not far from us. I sit staring at the slowly moving water wishing I could float away on it. Anything would be better than the torture I was currently being put through. In fact, I'm starting to think chopsticks forced under my fingernails would be better. I close my eyes and pray this horror will be over soon.

"Tris, sit up straight. I don't want the braid I'm putting in to be crooked." Christina grabs my shoulders and pulls me back straight into the desk chair. She has been working on a side braid for me for the last 20 minutes. She started with make-up first and my face feels itchy already from whatever goop she put on me. I can't believe I agreed to attend this mixer with her. At least I got her to comprise on the clothes. There was no way I was getting into another one of her dress get ups. I'm wearing dark blue skinny jeans, an ice-blue tank top under an over-sized off the shoulder grey cashmere sweater, and black ballet flats. I did let her add some long chains to the outfit.

"Okay, you can finally look in the mirror. Seriously Tris, you are gorgeous!" I'm taken aback at first by the image I see looking back at me. I haven't done anything with my hair or face in two years. Mostly my hair has served as a curtain to hide behind. I have to admit that whatever magic Christina used on my eyes is spectacular and I do like the side braid in my hair with the rest of it hanging straight. I give Christina an awkward side hug of thanks.

"Grab your stuff and let's go Tris. I can't wait for you to meet Tori and the rest of the girls at the mixer. I can't believe we are going to be sisters!"

"Christina, I made no promises about joining the Alphas. I told you I would at least go to the mixer with you since you went out of your way to set this up. But please don't expect much, okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell Christina that there was no way I was joining the Alphas. My plan was to show up with her, say some hellos and head back to the dorm room. Hopefully I could accomplish this whole thing in less than an hour and be back in my sweats and curled up with a good book.

I've been at the Pit for almost two hours now and having a difficult time trying to find an opening to leave. It's hard to admit that Christina was right. The girls of Alpha, at least the ones I've met, seem really great. The group seems to be made up less of girls competing against each other and more of a true family. I've spent much of the evening chatting with Tori, the pledge trainer, and find myself really enjoying my time with her. I start thinking I can do this, I could feel safe with this group.

"Tris, I've really enjoyed getting to know you and so many of the other Alphas have said the same thing. I think this would be a perfect fit for us and you. I have to go talk to them a bit but I'm sure it is going to happen. I'll be right back to let you know." Tori leaves me alone at the table I've been sitting at and heads off across the room to talk to some of her sisters. This is the first time all night I've actually been alone and I take the moment to look around the bar. Most of the people here are out on the dance floor having a blast. I watch Christina flirt with a Koa who must be the Will she hasn't stopped talking about for a week.

I find myself tapping my foot along to the music. Leaning back I let my mind wander with the music, choreographing a dance in my head. My spine starts to become prickly, the cold steel fingers are back and they are running up my back. Feeling eyes boring into the back of my head, I turn around to see who is staring at me. Once my eyes adjust to the dark I see a tall, dark-haired guy staring at me, actually staring right through me. His dark eyes are hypnotic. It's that frat-boy Four. He looks at me with curiosity and annoyance. He probably remembers me running into him and thinks I am too much of an idiot to be here at this mixer. An arrogant jock frat jerk, exactly what I thought. I start to squirm under his scrutiny and turn to look away. Its then I see the president of Alpha, I think her name is Jeanine, staring at Four and me. Her grey eyes are cold and I can feel her anger from here. She walks over to Four and slips her arm around him and starts to whisper in his ear. When he looks away, she shoots me another dagger filled look.

Great, Four is probably her boyfriend and now I've caused a problem. I didn't do anything expect run into him because he was blocking the sidewalk. It's not my fault he was staring at me like a mad gorilla. I see Tori going over to talk to Jeanine, most likely to get final approval on me, and I realize that it's my time to bolt. There is no way the president is going to take me anyway and why should I care. I told Christina I had no desire to join the Alphas and this just cements it. I grab my purse and head down the stairs of the bar and onto Main Street and right into another wall. God being short sucks sometimes.

"Whoa there little girl, where you running off to?" I look up and see two tall guys staring at me with snotty grins on their faces. Great more frat jerks if the letters on their shirts are any indication. I wonder what ΕΔΤ (epsilon-delta-tau) stands for?

"Sorry, I didn't see you. I'll just be on my way." I mumble an apology while I try to squeeze by them. A third one comes up and grabs my arm tightly and I look up at him ready to slap him for grabbing me. I stop mid swing when I realize the rude idiot who grabbed my arm is my cousin Caleb. This night is just getting better.

"Oh hey, Caleb, how are you? I didn't know you were in a fraternity." Caleb blushes a little at this then stands tall with pride.

"Yes, I pledged ΕΔΤ last spring. We go by Erudite though. I never told you because I didn't think you would be into that kind of thing. Apparently, I was wrong. Geez, Tris, you're coming out of a bar and what's all that over your face. I thought you had changed!" I can feel Caleb's anger coming off of him in waves.

"I have changed Caleb." I hiss back at him "You sound just like my mom. I'm still me. I was invited to an Alpha / Kao mixer by my roommate and thought I would get out of my self-imposed exile for a while. I didn't drink, didn't dance naked and don't worry I didn't sully the Pious Prior name. And you can let go of my arm now." It's Caleb that hasn't changed. Judgmental and my mother's spy to the end.

"An Alpha and Koa mixer. Man that had to be suck for you," laughs one of the guys with Caleb. "I mean Alpha is gotten much better now that Jeannine is in charge, but those _dauntless_ are a bunch of jerks. And looking at the little stiff thing you are, I would be surprised if anyone in there gave you the time of day."

"Peter, this is my cousin, Tris." Caleb ignores the insults Peter was throwing out and introduced us as if we were at a cotillion. Caleb annoying and always with the perfect manners, I think to myself. Peter just looks down at me with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Say good-bye to your cousin Caleb. You can talk to her on winter break. You know Greeks and non-Greeks don't interact. And believe me, that stiff is definitely got non-Greek written all over her." Peter laughs loudly at his insult and heads off down Main Street.

"Tris, he is right. But its okay, I knew you would be non-Greek. It's the right thing for you. You don't want to repeat your mistakes, it would kill Aunt Natalie." I just stare at Caleb. I can feel the heat rising up to the top of my ears. Instead of responding, I just turn to head to my dorm.

"Hey Tris where are you going?" I turn and see Tori running out of the Pit. "Girl you're in! Everyone loves you. Say yes Tris. I want you to be an Alpha!" I feel Caleb staring at me waiting for me to meekly turn the invitation to join Alpha down. I nod my head yes to Caleb and turn back to Tori to give her my reply.

"I'm in!" Tori grabs me in a huge bear hug. I watch Caleb shaking his head and walk away. I'm sorry, Caleb, I think to myself; but there has to be something between Pious Prior and who you and my mother think I am.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I want to apologize for not updating in a while. Real life has a way of descending and sometimes kicking your butt. I don't like to make excuses for not taking care of things but over the last few weeks I've been dealing with taking the oldest on out of town college visits and her prom; my youngest soccer season (two teams) and trumpet competitions; my step-children (who thank god do not live with me) various pregnancy scares, truancy, fights at school and possible explosions (again so happy they don't live with me!); and I'm in the middle of two upcoming trials at work.**

**With everything going on, it's been hard for me to get back into Tris and Four's heads. Some of this story is autobiographical and I think I've been struggling dealing with some deep issues from my own years in college while I'm getting my oldest ready to head off to it herself. The entire story is in my head but I need to be in a good place to get it out. Therefore, I'm taking a break during May. **

**I will try to update at least two chapters a week starting in June. I appreciate the reviews and followers and I promise this story is not forgotten or done yet. **


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